When they go low…. I go lower! In fact I go so low that I bump into my own vagina.
For a moment we are just staring into each other.
-Are you going to vote by me?
-Pardon me, I try to speak.
-Yes, I am asking you. Are you going to vote by me, your own vagina.
-I don’t understand – I try again.
-Do you know who Susan Sarandon is? She said she can’t vote based on gender because she does not vote with her vagina.
What about you?-she is asking me again.Who are you going to vote for? Trump or Hillary? Tell me, you are not voting for Trump!
-I can’t say that-I say to vagina. He loves you. He called you the “PUSSY”.
My vagina is shyly hiding behind bushes of dark hair and says:-He called me the pussy! Really! Nobody told me that.
I am thinking:-Look how easy is to convince people into your truth or your lies.
I try to inject a little more truth. Well, he said he likes to grab woman by pussy.
I am thinking, she will get it now.
But my vagina is in melting mood.
-He likes to grab woman by pussy. Can you believe the power I have. I am one of your most important erogenous zones.
Of course he likes to grab you by the pussy.
-You are not offended. I am screaming at my vagina now. You are not offended. All TV stations are reporting on it.
-O dear, my vagina say. Can you believe the media? You are smarter than that. Access Hollywood is the source. Do you get it?
Hollywood! Every day they create the story based on moral! Now my vagina is coughing and laughing in the same time.
-What is so funny? I am mad now.
-Well, you are. The story was created by Access Hollywood in the dark…You can’t see them, you just hear their voices. Do you get it?
-What the fuck am I supposed to get? I am so confused.
-You need to use your own brain-she says to me. And she keeps laughing…
-How can I do that?-I ask.
-Do you remember the movie “Monster’s ball” and Halle Berry the most famous sentence “Make me feel good”.
And then Billy Thornton fucks her from behind. Do you think that was OK and moral?-my vagina asks.
Did you have anybody questioning the language or the sex scene? Where was the moral then?
-But,that was the movie. It was an art- I inject.
-Really, my vagina says.That is your story or should I say that was the spin of the fucking story where the woman ask in a deep, disturbing voice “Make me feel good”
and then she gets “FUCKED”. Nobody said that was inappropriate. How come? Where was the moral then?
For a moment or two I am speechless. I don’t understand this world …never mind my vagina. She has mind of her own.
Then she says: – When they go low, we go high. Of course as long as you spread your legs apart…
What the F… ..How I am going to vote?
-Don’t vote for Killary – she says.
-You mean Hillary!- I say.
-No, I mean Killary Killton!
-But that is not her name!
-But it is her personality.
Oh God I am so confused, I don’t know what to do? By vagina I can’t vote for Killary and by fear I can’t vote for Trump.
What woman or any human should do? Make me feel good….Where is Billy when you need him?
Luckily…”O Canada” is playing in background…
-But MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN IS MY BIGGEST WISH!-says my vagina.
And if God is listening “Please keep us all safe!”. Together we are stronger and we WE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
LOVE AND PEACE TO AMERICA, RUSSIA, CHINA, IRAN…THE WORLD!
And say “Hi” to your pussy when you get low…it is one of the most important erogenous zone….and listen to your body….your heart!
NOT THE ACCESS HOLLYWOOD AND OTHER MARKETING MACHINES!
Do you ever have one of those days when everything seems to be perfect?
It is a sunny day outside, your soul is at the peace and your generous heart full of chocolate is asking for … let me pause for a moment….your heart is asking for fruit …Are you kidding me?
Of course, I am. To be exact the heart is asking for cherry strudel. Oh you greedy heart, how can I say no to you?
Of course I can’t and being the hard working person that I am I am moving my body towards my little kitchen and
I am going to create the magic called Cherry Strudel.
Like always, the project manager in me needs to create the ingredients list.
So, what do we need?
-flour, butter, sour cream, sugar,cornstarch, cherries…Easy, don’t you think?
Once you have all ingredients let me show you your destination in making…Cherry Strudel!
5 star cookies cherry strudel piece 1
Now, when you have the ingredients list and picture of destination let’s start baking.
First step – strudel dough. (You can use mixer, blender or your hands)
I use blender. Mix 1 cup of flour and 1/2 cup butter.
Add 1/2 cup sour cream (14%) and keep mixing it until all ingredients are blended together.
Form a ball, cover with plastic wrap and let rest for at least one hour or up to overnight.
Now, you completed your first step.
Step 2 – Stretch dough
Sprinkle wax paper lightly with flour and place dough in center.
With a floured rolling pin, roll out dough into a rectangular shape 12 x 9. Dough should be thin as tissue paper.
Step 3 – make cherry filling and sugar mixture (the recipe is below)
Step 4 – Fill the dough with fruit mixture
Sprinkle the dough with 1/4 cup of sugar mixture, add 2 cups cherries and top with the rest of sugar mixture.
Fold dough over half of cherry mixture and then fold other half. Seal the edges. (very important, all of them)
Cherry Filling:
2 cups cherries
Sugar Mixture
1 cup sugar
1/8 cup flour
1/8 cup cornstarch
Mix sugar, flour and cornstarch.
5starcookeis unbaked strudel
Bake at 400 F for 30 min. until lightly brown.
5starcookies strudel 3 pieces
Start eating….
5starcookies cherry strudel
CSI - Cherry Strudel Crime Scene
Ingredients
1 cup flour
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup sour cream
Filling:
2 cup cherries
Sugar Filling:
1 cup sugar
1/8 cup flour
1/8 cup cornstarch
Instructions
Using blender mix flour and butter.
Add 1/2 cup sour cream.
Mix all into a ball and refrigerate for 1 hour or longer.
Roll the ball into a rectangular shape 12 x 9.
Fill the middle with 1/4 cup sugar mixture, add 2 cups cherries and top with the rest of sugar mixture (1 cup)
Fold dough over half of mixture and then fold other half.
Bake at 400 F for 30 min.
Top with icing sugar or walnuts if you like.
Enjoy!
So, how can you have a perfect day and CSI – Cherry Strudel Crime Scene?
Let me, show you….
5 star cookies crime scene on balcony
Don’t you love this crime..nothing that little tongue can’t fix it!
5starcokies crime scene
So, what was my mistake? Look the picture below and try to guess…
5starcookies CSI Cherry Strudel
I did not seal all edges…you can see the sugar mixture above and cherry ready for the baking crime….
5 star cookies crime scene
However, it still was the best strudel for my chocolate heart … and don’t worry about the cherry mess…any child would lick it. (adults too)
Please let’s have baking crime as the only crime in this Universe….and let’s make this world the place of peace and love.
And somewhere in my garden birds are singing…and sending you….
5starcookies birds
Sending you love, cookies, cakes and cherries strudel from my imaginary piece of virtual reality called
Using food processor, pulse Oreos and coconut oil for about 1 to 2 min.
Turn on the food processor and let it run (roughly 3 to 5 min) or until you are left with the consistency you’d like.
Cut puff horizontally, spoon some Nutella, add Oreo filling,and top with more Nutella.
Place the top of the pastry shell on the Nutella, drizzle with Oreo filling and Oreo crumbs.
SERVE AND ENJOY!
5 star cookies oreo cream puffs side
“Manic Monday”
Six o’clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin’ Valentino
By a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can’t be late
‘Cause then I guess I just won’t get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already madeIt’s just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
‘Cause that’s my fun day
My I don’t have to run day
It’s just another manic MondayHave to catch an early train
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an aeroplane
I still couldn’t make it on time
‘Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I’m gonna wear
Blame it on the train
But the boss is already thereIt’s just another manic Monday
Wish it were Sunday
‘Cause that’s my fun day
My I don’t have to run day
It’s just another manic MondayAll of the nights
Why did my lover have to pick last night
To get down?
(Last night, last night)
Doesn’t it matter
That I have to feed the both of us
Employment’s down
He tells me in his bedroom voice
“C’mon honey, let’s go make some noise”
Time it goes so fast
(When you’re having fun)
5 star cookies oreo cream puffs
As Rod Stewart is singing “Do you think I’m sexy” my chocolate filled and sugar obsession mind is asking for something simple, easy and fast?
And good for me too…Come on, Rod help me…and Eureka, the answer is here. Let’s make the “Chocolate Puffed Bars”.
Rod is still singing “If you want my body and you think I’m sexy.. come on honey tell me so…If you really need me just reach out and touch me…come on sugar let me know”.
Oh Rod, if you only know.
I need 2 ingredients: chocolate chips and puffed wheat cereal.
5starcookies 1 cup puffed wheat and 1 cup chocolate chips
Start the process by melting 1 cup of chocolate chips in a double boiler or saucepan on the stove top over low heat.
Add the cereal into the melted chocolate and mix thoroughly.
5 star cookies chocolate double boiler-001
5 star cookies rice and melted chocolate
5 star coated melted chocolate
Line a baking sheet or any plate with parchment paper and set aside. Spread the mixture on the prepared baking sheet or the plate and place it in the fridge for at least 1 hour.
Now, you can have it…sexy, simple and yours chocolate puffed bars.
Do you think I'm sexy-Chocolate Puffed Bars
Ingredients
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup puffed wheat cereal
Instructions
Melt the chocolate chips in a double boiler or saucepan on the stove top over low heat.
Add 1 cup cereal into the melted chocolate and mix thoroughly.
Spread the mixture on the prepared baking sheet.
Place it in the fridge for at least 1 hour.
Cut it into bars and place them on a serving tray.
You can use it as a gift for someone … your dad, brother or someone you love
5 star cookies gift5starcookies front chocolate wheat
“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?”
Sugar, sugar
She sits alone waiting for suggestions
He’s so nervous avoiding all the questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don’t you just know exactly what they’re thinking
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
come on sugar let me know.
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on honey tell me so
Tell me so baby
He’s acting shy looking for an answer
Come on honey let’s spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we go much further
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
come on honey tell me so
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on sugar let me know
His heart’s beating like a drum
‘cos at last he’s got this girl home
Relax baby now we are alone
They wake at dawn ‘cos all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain’t what they’re thinking
Outside it’s cold, misty and it’s raining
They got each other neither one’s complaining
He say’s I sorry but I’m out of milk and coffee
Never mind sugar we can watch the early movie
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
come on sugar let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on honey tell me so
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on sugar let me know
If you really, really, really, really need me
just let me know
Just reach out and touch me
If you really want me
just reach out and touch me
come on sugar let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on sugar let me know
If you, if you, if you really need me
just come on and tell me so
Today, Novak Djokovic beat defending champion Andy Murray 6-2 3-6 6-3 in the Madrid Open final.
And since tennis is considered a white sport I wanted to make something special, easy and white.
It is called White Chocolate and Wafer Hazelnut Filling.
You need only 2 ingredients:
-white chocolate chips and wafer with hazelnut filling
In the food processor, whiz wafer cookies until reduced to crumbs. (Just think how Novak Djokovic whizzed Murray). Set aside.
Melt the white chocolate chips using double boiler.
Pour melted chocolate onto prepared baking sheet and spread out into a large rectangle or any shape you want to.
5 star cookies white chocolate
Add 1/4 cup of wafer crumbs and press into chocolate. Keep pressing until wafer are inside of the chocolate.
Be sure wafer crumbs are inside of white chocolate.
Set in the refrigerator to chill for 30 minutes or until no longer wet-looking. It will look like the picture below.
5 star cookies white hazelnut chocolate
Cut into pieces and share with all people you love..If you have nobody to love (that’s sad), send your love towards tennis no 1 player, Novak Djokovic.
5 star cookies White Chocolate with Hazelnut Filling
White Sport, White Chocolate and Wafer Hazelnut Filling
Ingredients
1 Package White Chocolate Chips (226 gr)
1/4 cup Crumbs (Use Wafer with hazelnut filling)
Instructions
Line a small baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Set aside.
In the food processor, whiz wafer cookies until reduced to crumbs. Set aside.
Melt the white chocolate chips using double boiler.
Pour melted chocolate onto prepared baking sheet and spread out into a large rectangle or any shape you want to.
Add 1/4 cup of wafer crumbs and press into chocolate. Keep pressing until wafer are inside of the chocolate.
Set in the refrigerator to chill for 30 minutes or until no longer wet-looking. It will look like the picture below.
Have you ever had this problem when “cream puffs” collapse in front of your eyes and you have no idea why?
Well, I will give you 5 top tips to create successful cream puffs.
DO NOT OPEN OVEN DOOR TO EARLY IN THE BAKING, when the structure of the puffs wasn’t yet solidified.
DO NOT OVERLOAD YOUR BAKING SHEET.
BE SURE TO HAVE AT LEAST 2 INCHES OF SPACE BETWEEN THE PUFFS WHEN YOU PIPE THEM.
BAKE CREAM PUFFS USING TEMPERATURE OF 400F. THE HIGH HEAT PROVIDES A RAPID RISE WITH A HOLLOW CENTER.
TURN THE OVEN OFF AND LET THEM COOL WITH THE DOOR AJAR FOR 10 MIN.
Your Inbox Questions
1.What is choux paste?
Choux paste is one of the foundational doughs of pastry making. It is used for eclairs, classic French cakes, profiteroles.
The preparation of the dough is unique and starts on top of the stove. Flour, butter and water are heated until the mixture resembles mashed potatoes.
Off the heat, eggs are stirred in until the mixture is enough soft to pipe through a pastry bag.
2. My cream puffs have points when I finish piping? What should I do?
Dampen your index finger into cold water and just smooth it. This step is important because if you don’t smooth them, little peaks will burn black before the puffs are baked through.
Also, you need to improve your piping technique. Hold the pastry bag about 1 inch from the parchment paper and squeeze out a round of pastry. When it is size you want , stop squeezing the bag before you lift it away.
3. How do I store cream puffs?
If you will be using them in 24 hrs you can store unfilled puffs in a resealable plastic bag at room temperature.
You can freeze them for up to 2 weeks.
5 star cookies cream puffs icing sugar
The last tip for this post is:
Use a large saucepan to cook the batter. You will need plenty of room for vigorous stirring.
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